Illman (illman) wrote,
Illman
illman

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I'm awake and it isn't a good thing - randomy tidbits

So I was browsing the Saturday job adds, marking anything that I could possibly apply to keping in mind that a)no car b)no skills c)no nights. I still found three prospective jobs. Information desking at a home and crafts store, kitchen help at a restaurant and temp work at a bar.Had I been looking for vocational training, I would have come up with physiotherapist and sales manager.  Not exactly top but not bad for a Saturday.
The info desking sounded like it wasn't too stressy, I know the store and it isn't really that busy and the job was part-time. But it was a send-your-application job add. So far I have only applied by calling, in person or once by email, but that doesn't really count, it was like : "hey, I'm Illman, the job you're offering sounds really cool and I think I'm up for it. I have the following relevant experience...."
I wasn't sure what went into an application aside from a resumée and a cover letter, so I asked mom who conveniently appeared in the living room. Mom said I shouldn't apply for I job even if I decided to stick around at home and the majority of modules at distance university only started next year. I especially shouldn't start a job that actually paid and would do so officially. I was taken aback to put it mildly. Told not to be produtive is a new thing. I already knew that the parentals put school over work though. Mom went on to rant that if I actually made money she wouldn't get child support for me anymore. (Officially I made about $45 a month until this month at the Sunday delivery, the tutoring is paid unofficially). I nastly argued that we weren't really the people who depended on those monthly payments at all. Mom brought up the point that if I got a real, officially paying job, I'd have to get health insurance like everyone else. I have no idea how this works elsewhere, but if I have a real job, I have health insurance from the job. That is to be avoided, according to mom. So, the solution is not to earn any money. As long as I'm pursuing an education and am under like 26 the parental will get child support and I'll get to benefit from the parental's health insurance. They, because they work for the government get their medical expenses paid to 80% by the government and to 20% by private health insurance. So do I. The private health insurance occassionally gets stubborn, the government doesn't really care about referals, number of doctor visits or stuff that happened abroad. It's just a load of paperwork to fill everytthing out and send it in. Aside from Provigil they have never not paid something. So Mom does have a point with the job.


It wouldn't by mom if she didn't know already where to get the next unofficial job. Working with at risk kids! She knows the people aparently and already got bro a little job there. He said it wasn't that bad aside from the supervisor being a bumb bitch who hates people more intelligent than her. Did I mention that bro is a worse egomanic than I am? And he has all reason to be, he really is smarter. We compete every Sunday over the crossword puzzle and every so often over science problems (mostly TV inspired).

TV moves too fast for me these days, there is too much on in a single week, I don't parse that much. My internet connection isn't that fast. I was fine with just two shows a week. People are bugging me because of the damned archives. Good thing that I gave up having any regrets when I found out about mania.

Two Provigil tablets early in the morning are a pain but seem to work. Today I got up at 6 a.m., took the tablets, then slept till 8 a.m.-ish and was awake and alert enough to read the paper. A bit tired now, but better than most days. Vision is still crap, motion seems better, except for the withdrawl muscle pain.


When I'm up to form, I love challenges. I took a native speaker French and English classes in high school. I picked Mandarin Chinese as a language project because it was supposed to be hard to learn. The attempts at challenges have gove over more or less well. I did decently but not overly good in the native speaker level French class in the end. I can only read about 800 Chinese characters, I cannot pronounce them, I cannot write them by hand, only with a word processor. I understand some spoken Chinese on the news if the pronounciation is clear. Oxford was supposed to be a challenge. I always knew that I had only taken basic Physics years ago and that there was a reason why I hadn't taken advanced Maths. While I can certainly wrap my mind around it, it doesn't come that easily to me. Not going to back to Oxford would not only mean not studying Chemistry (at least not now, I always envisioned to get more than one degree in life), it would also mean never knowing whether I would have made it there. That buggs me a lot.

Of course there are challenges outside Oxford. At the moment, being ill provides a daily set of them and the completion of a to-do-list requires quite a bit of effort. But there are more challenges in the world outside Oxford, too. For example:

  • get a degree at your own pace

  • get started on those next 7 languages

  • get a job that pays more an hour than the commute costs

  • get another degree

  • get published

  • get into another sport








  • finish the list from yesterday

  • make a list of characters from all the books

  • translate at least three more paragraphs

  • collect the errant CDs

  • set the alarm clock for tomorrow

  • take the meds on both days

  • make icons

  • clean up

  • watch WaT 3x01

  • learn new words

  • study a bit

  • read some

  • do a few Maths problems

  • work out on Saturday


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