Illman

Officially I'm lazy and stupid. Only today, Beth said it was my fault that I had nsuch a hard time with the homework because I didn't go to all of the lectures and that especially I should be going to lectures. In hate it when people think that I don't go to lectures because I'm lazy or just dont want to go. Lately I've had a poor track record because most days I've been panicking at the thought of going anywhere. But I can't explain that to people. Except to Em who has similar issues with going to lectures.

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I'll later post about this in joy_in_action, but I figured I need to set some sort of mini-goal(s) for this week.
a) Take the meds on time. I immediatly notice when I don't do this and for example forget the morning meds and take them at lunchtime.
b) Attend all lectures this week. There is no lab time this week and the Kinetics lectures are cancelled for the time being.
c) Do the laundry. Sounds easy, but it's a major task for me.

Today didn't turn out too bad. Feeling a bit down and anxious this evening, but not out of control so far. The tutorials went fine, and I actually got some stuff right in the first one. The second one cdonfused me quite a bit, but that's the tutor, not the subject matter. Now I'm working hard on not having a guilt trip for not doing more work this evening. I did some reading up on Maths and did some homework that I didn't manage over the weekend. A bad medache cut my efforts short, but I can definetly say that I know more about the topic than I did yesterday. I did what I could do today.

The medaches are back. It usually shows up a while after upping the dosage on Lamictal. Headache, aching joints and sore muscles. Today only my left side and my head hurt since this afternoon. An early escape to bed sounds like a good idea, unless the pain keeps me from sleeping.