May 2nd, 2005


Oh crap!

Can't sleep nights lately. I tried working nights to make use of the time, but I'm mostly too freaked out to study. It's only the end of wk 1 and I'm already taking too much valium, my room looks like a junkyard, I still haven't unpacked and I'm already in trouble.

I'm in trouble because I missed a meeting that I wouldn't be having if I weren't be in trouble because of the exams that went craptastic. While nothing happened after I missed a math tutorial last week, only 4 hours after I missed this meeting (I didn't even know I had it, I hadn't read my email), one of the junior deans showed up at my door. Ouch.

Desperate cessation of extraneous activities needed.

But I still sleep too much, like on Saturday, I slept from 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. Even with stimulants, I'm stuck at 14 hours. Twelve with a lot of caffeine and only for a few days at a stretch.

I wish tomorrow never came...

First real break today. I almost finished the matrices work before the deadline. I got up to question 10 out of 13. But I have been at it a ll Sunday afternoon and all afternoon today until now. IT took me ages to learn the stuff from the book first. As usual only part of the material has been covered in the lecture. I haven't revised yet today. I hope  I'll get an hour of revision squeezed in somewhere somehow. It's going to be another long day. Too much caffeine already.

I'm riddiculously worried about the meeting tomorrow.

Collapse )
I guess I'm worried that they ask me to consider leaving. Not that the thought has never crossed my mind. But I want to finish this. Everyone else knew better and told me not to come back here. But of course, I had to find out. At least I'll never end up asking myself whether I could have.

Shower now and then some more work on the mechanics questions.
  • Current Mood
    busy busy