Illman (illman) wrote,
Illman
illman

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As this is my last day of lying in bed, according to my planning it seems to be the perfect occassion to think about the future for a bit. Especially since I don't feel like I'll be up and about tommorow any more than today. My head has been hurting the last few days, my joints still hurt and I'm out of painkillers. I don't want to be me right now.

At least this time I know what I want. I just have doubts about whether I can do it. Even though the eight weeks challenge was everything but easy, I want to go back. I like the environment and I like that there is plenty to learn around. The expectations are pretty high and so is the pressure. But my main problems during the last eight weeks were mental troubles related and were usually a direct result of emotional up or down or problems with meds that made it difficult to get the work done. I'm currently experimenting with a 4-med schedule, but the one that works best for one is a 8-med schedule with 2 meds for use when needed. That many meds bring of course problems of their own that are noticable in daily life. While I have fairly stable emotions on that med-schedule, it is hard to get under a minimum of 9 - 10 hours of sleep. For Oxford, that is a lot of sleep. Also, appetite killing and losing weight inspite of eating. Never thought that would be a problem but this holiday season I'm actually trying to put on some weight. Currently I fit into the clothes of my 13 year old sister which isn't so great.


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Your World (Part One): What is your world made of? [girls]

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