Illman (illman) wrote,

  • Mood:
Ich lachte, war mutlos und hoffte neu.
Doch was ich auch machte, mir selbst blieb ich immer treu. (Elisabeth)

Today was not  a  good day. I was crying before I had even gotten up. My errants in town got cut short because all the people and the noise were me all edgy. At least I got the most important thing done: picking up the meds from the pharmacy and buying something to drink.

As result, I didnt get very much done today, except for some maths stuff. Its one of the days when I have the remind myself to see it one day at the time. All I have to do is get through to day doing the best I can. If that, like today, only goes as far as eating, sleeping, petting my sheepskin thingy (its not a rug, its the kind that you have lying around in bed), crying and dabbling at homework, then well, thats it. I cannot afford to think about the future, because then I start thinking that I cant do it for another week, another month, another seven weeks, another three years. At home I was a lot better, aside from the last week or so when I was doing a lot of school work and I was started to get nerveous about the exams. Stress is just something I  cant handle anymore. Oh I do suck.

But that doesnt matter now, getting through the rest of today does.

The evening meds kicked in pretty fast (the good part about not having been in the mood to eat - feeling a bit calmer now)

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