Illman (illman) wrote,

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Mental mentra: It's just frayed nerves and stress that make me cry and shake Just nerves and stress. It has to be.

I'm afraid that  what starts with stress might turn into an episode.
I'm afraid that I'll wake up one day and realize that it's become all about surviving day after day. That's game over.

Last term, I had a totally TV and fandom ban. It worked  and even now I can tell that fandom  (the interactiv kind) is stressing me out. I just want to write fic and watch eps. (ironically I have 8 unwatched SGA eps on the HD, along with a bunch of SG-1, 3 Alias eps, and 11 WaT eps, a couple of games from the hockey world cup, a few CJ  eps and I haven't unwrapped the B5 and  LaO DVDs that I got for Christmas and my birthday. Not the mention the Alias S3 DVDs that I bought ages ago). I stayed away from that last year as well,aside fom some handwritten scenes. It's a distraction and with the big workload, I  don't really need that. But on the other hand, I need a bit of a hobby, I think. Of course there is still The Divine Comedy (for those who haven't read it's a 700+  page tome written in the14th century. The beauty of it - it's all in written in verse.) , it will take me months if not longer to finish reading it.  Not sure what I'll do.


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