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24 January 2005 @ 09:29 am
Mental mentra: It's just frayed nerves and stress that make me cry and shake Just nerves and stress. It has to be.

I'm afraid that  what starts with stress might turn into an episode.
I'm afraid that I'll wake up one day and realize that it's become all about surviving day after day. That's game over.

Last term, I had a totally TV and fandom ban. It worked  and even now I can tell that fandom  (the interactiv kind) is stressing me out. I just want to write fic and watch eps. (ironically I have 8 unwatched SGA eps on the HD, along with a bunch of SG-1, 3 Alias eps, and 11 WaT eps, a couple of games from the hockey world cup, a few CJ  eps and I haven't unwrapped the B5 and  LaO DVDs that I got for Christmas and my birthday. Not the mention the Alias S3 DVDs that I bought ages ago). I stayed away from that last year as well,aside fom some handwritten scenes. It's a distraction and with the big workload, I  don't really need that. But on the other hand, I need a bit of a hobby, I think. Of course there is still The Divine Comedy (for those who haven't read it's a 700+  page tome written in the14th century. The beauty of it - it's all in written in verse.) , it will take me months if not longer to finish reading it.  Not sure what I'll do.

Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Roger Waters - Knockin' on Heaven's Door
Evidence: neverstillevidenceshows on January 24th, 2005 09:39 am (UTC)
Just as a suggestion: maybe you can reward yourself with a DVD viewing like once or twice a week if you get accomplished what you wnat to. It's kinda like a positive reenforcement that we do at my school. That way the viewing will help you to get things done instead of taking time away.
Illmanillman on January 24th, 2005 03:22 pm (UTC)
That sounds like a good idea. I'll definetly give it some thought.
Amberminttown1 on January 24th, 2005 01:53 pm (UTC)
I really hope things are okay. I'll keep you in my thoughts. (Speaking of which, I have something little I'd like to send you, but I don't know whether you give out your actual address to people you only know online. If you do, I'll send it. Otherwise, I obviously won't. Heh. Just a thought. :))

Interactive fandom is strangely stressful, at least in certain fandoms. I really love that about my roommate: I can share about 80% of my fannishness with her, and she'll get it and laugh, and it's, like, none of the wankiness. And there are still fairly anonymous venues for posting fic, when that inspiration strikes (because I could never, ever try to explain fanfiction to her).

And about the most distractiontastic fandom ever: Is the SGA archive gone? If it is, it's no biggie, but I thought I'd ask.
Illmanillman on January 24th, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm trying to handle college as well as possible, but if it turns into a nightmare, then it just isn't for me. I better stay in shape in the evening, trying whether study group works for me.
FF.net is great when it comes to anonymous posting of fic. I only know two fanfic writers in person. But I actually prefer online(including fic and the like) and real life not to cross.

The SGA archive is still there. It's just moved to a protected folder.


I'll email you the password along with my address.
kimberlychapman: LaPaglia Eyeskimberlychapman on January 24th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
If you just want to watch episodes and write fic, you can do that without having to be part of an interactive fandom. You can write for just yourself. That's okay. You can pour your heart out into words and never show it to anyone, or just share it with a single friend online or off, or whatever you like.

There are no rules about how you should celebrate the things you enjoy, and anyone who says there is should be ignored.

Feel *free* to enjoy the things that make you happy. :)