Illman (illman) wrote,

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Everytime I post it seems like I'm complaining. Usually, that's what I'm doing. So what's going wrong in my life? Right now, you don't want to know.

  Recurrence of cycling depressing and nightly sobfests prompted call to the doc who (after telling me that she thought it was a bad idea that I am running around unsupervised) suggested going up on one of the meds. I did so and it did have the desired effect plus headaches, joint aches and fatigue. The headaches are gone, the joints still hurt, but will eventually go away, the fatigue will be around for a while. No idea whether it will fade. I haven't been on this stuff long enough for it to fade yet. I have tried to counteract the increased fatigue with increasing the dosage of Provigil, my favourite stimulant med. Problem is that it works very slowly and takes hours to kick in, so if I for example take it at 9 a.m., it will not stop me fall asleep in the lecturs that morning or fall asleep oversleep for the tutorials that afternoon if I decided to get some rest in the lunch break. Alarm clocks are useless. I can sit down at my desk and fall asleep. Taking more stimulant in the morning only keeps me up longer at night. I know I could change to a faster acting stimulant. Problem is there aren't that many choice. From what I researched and what I was told. There are mainly the amphetamines and few others. Just worried about the addictiveness. Also more hassle with the prescription because of controlled substances. In Germany it wouldn't make any difference, all stimulant meds are controlled substances. It's weird, feeling awake, and yet exhausted at the same time. The wonder of modern pharmaceuticals.

Nozw, restless and killing time. Just managed to bite my lip again. That always happens when I'm really restless. Normally I'd take something to clam down, but it just seems like a very bad idea to take a med to calm down from a high created by another med. Hopefully, I'll be able to do without stimulants are calming meds over the weekend. I'd be good to get a break.

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