Illman (illman) wrote,

  • Mood:
Doctors appt. today. It didn't go over very well. Like that is new. I got the results from the assessment from ages ago. I scored in the lower regions of average in all things except distractability which turned out to be higher than average. Didn't put me in the best possible mood. (but at least confirmed that it wasn't just all in my head that I can't concentrate as well as I used to). Then she started with wanting to change my meds again. She has been talking about this for weeks and I have been reluctant about it for weeks. Not least of all because I reacted so badly to the last time I went off this one med. So we went on about this with all the same arguments all over. When she said she would like me do switch the meds as an inpatient, I was even less pleased. I have done inpatient before and while it is not as bad as the media makes it out to be, it was still an endless, mind-numbing and boring ten days. So basically, I said no. If she wants me to show up everyday, I'll do that, but I'm not planning on sitting on a bed for 2 - 3 weeks. I know, there are all sorts of fun things to fill the day, like sports and creative things like drawiing with those huge crayons. Yeah, that was it for distraction. That's pretty much a no.
The med change alone I could contemplate. I would probably even do it if I was sure that I could go back to the current meds if doesn't work. I asked her about that today and she said that it would be possible to go back, but I don't trust her that far:/  Then she talked about contacting a social worker to look into supported job training opportunities, but I told her that I wasn't through yet with my considerations regarding college. All in all not a lot of good. I see her again on Monday. Until then I'm supposed to think about things and talk with my family.

Not happy with the doc. The college doctor was more effective, as he worked out the only working med mix so far. Plus, I owe him some of the more practical drugs in my stash, the Valium and the stimulants.

Then, I proceeded to get into a huge fight with the parentals. The usual, accusing me of being too lazy to get it together and get a job or go to college.

The better stuff:

Updated @lantis / @lantis-archive today with a vid from ninnui and last week's ep.

Got the new keyboard today and it even glows blue. Love it!

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