Illman (illman) wrote,

  • Mood:
It's been a while and I finally feel somewhat human again. The last few days were pretty evil. Made some changes to the meds and that's usually not good in the beginning. Also, I'm coming off Valium, so withdrawal is adding to the misery. But I had worse from other stuff. I just wish I'd get some decent sleep again, preferable during the night. Without Valium, the whole sleeping thing has gotten very messed up.

In other news, I got the eval, to my great surprise. When the doc called me on Monday to drop by in the afternoon, I thought he was going to tell me that he wasn't going to write the letter. Turned out that he needed me to do the translation into English. I'm not happy with what's in the evaluation since it does not say that I'm fit to attend university. On the other hand, it says that I belong in a long term out-patient program. That is not what I had in mind (and not what I plan in doing.) Since the psych hospital stay, I'm trying to stay as far away from psychiatrists as possible. I have to go occassionally to get my meds refilled and I can't get out of that, but I'm not doing another hour of therapy in this decade.

Also, I got another letter from social services telling me that I have the appointment I have requested. Only that I didn't request it. Doc has been bugging me to call the social worker about the rehabilitation and job training program, but I haven't done so and have no intentions of ever doing so in the future. I didn't think she'd go as far as making an appointment for me. For the social services rehabilitation program, I'm supposed to do another congnitive assesment. I don't think so. I already know that my brain isn't working as well as it used to any more. The last assesment already said that. I'm starting to think I'm paranoid for a reason. Truth is I don't have the time to deal with any of this crap. Things are going pretty well at the moment, aside from the slump the last few days (but that was more physical than mental), and I'm busy with my studies and generally catching up on things life related.

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