The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it:
Earth Final Conflict. This could have been one of the most amazing sci-fi shows out there. But it wasn't. Everyone died. Well, everyone I liked.
The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets:
CSI. For all how it's gone down the drain, it's still good television. Nothing you'd get a mental sprain from, just nice and pleasant watching.
The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy:
I'm with emeryboard here. Torchwood. However, Jack and company do put the fun back in dysFUNctional.
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town:
Supernatural. I'm glad I'm not in the fandom, it's so crazy. Especially the fic. I used to think the 'gateverse was responsible for some of the worst stories (although also best) I've read, but SPN has it beaten hands down. I'm proud to have contributed ;-)
Life on Mars. Awesome. Period.
Law and Order. Steady. Period.
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:
Stargate SG-1. I've been watching since the very beginning, since way back when d/l-ing took serious effort because broadband didn't exist yet and an episode file of 18 - 20 Mb still took a way too long to download, but I've never been really head-over-heels for this show. Never even wrote a fic.
The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't:
Oernen. It's good, very good even - has great story archs, one of my favourite TV villains and the best office affair since WaT, but I'm not in love with this show. I blame the dubbing for part of it, since I've seen the original even though I only understood the scenes that were in English and German in the first place, but so much better than the translation that has taken all the international feel out of it.
The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere:
House MD. Tried watching but it just didn't click.
The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "Him? How the hell did he land all these cool babes?":
Harry Potter. I read this first four books just after the fourth book came ago, hence ages ago (Must have been summer of 2000, me thinks). I only got through all of them because I was stuck in the summer camp from Hell (Poland, rain, Russian movies, roomates from countries I'd never heard about). But seriously, what is it about this fandom that makes the fangirls go crazy?
The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly:
Supernatural. Sis loves it - although she watches it on German TV where S1 only started this fall.